God's Canvas Sheet

You spend too much time worrying 

You lose sleep spending your nights in your bedroom with only the light of your computer against your eyes

You miss your daughter's first school activity because come on, there are more important matters to attend to than those children dancing to silly songs, right?

You rush into coffee shops to get your double shot espresso lattes in to-go cups just so you can rush into another place where you can drink more bottled coffee behind your desk

You fail to look up and witness god's live painting of his masterpiece called the golden sky because you are too busy looking down your phone checking your list hoping you can squeeze in one more errand before going home

You go home to spend another night to finish some work just so you can make room for more work the next day

Oh look! You've reached your goal!

Congratulations! 

Here's a cup of self-satisfaction

Which probably wouldn't last you a week

So you find yourself working towards another goal

You miss more sleep

And miss more of your daughter's school activities

You drink more coffee but if it was to be taken away from you today and were asked to describe its smell,

I bet you wouldn't be able to because you've never had one that's not covered with plastic

Perfectly valid and understandable reason

We get it

You're working towards your dream

Your dream house, dream car, dream job, dream vacation

You're trying to push your way through the crowd to get to the finish line

Oh look! You've made it to the finish line!

You could hear the satisfying sound of the finish tape tear in half as you wave your hand up in joy

But you start to wonder why there was no one to greet you with a big gold medal

You waited and waited until you realize the painful truth

It's a dead end

You turn around but everyone is running towards your direction that it's impossible to get past them

You try to save them and say

'Hey guys, you better slow down a little because there's really nothing in here.'

But they couldn't hear you with the sound of their fingers smashing against their keyboards

So you sit there wishing

Wishing you had moved a little slower

Slow enough to feel your chest move up and down as you breathe and slowly drift into a good night sleep

Slow enough to notice that your coffee actually smells like rain falling on dry soil of a garden filled with berries and citruses

You squint your eyes to remember your daughter's face and wish you had missed that meeting and saw her dance in her cute little dress, even just for once

You find yourself willing to give everything just to live one more day to look up and see god's masterpiece

or even just his canvas sheet

And you find yourself wanting more

If only you could have one more lifetime to live

If only

Just one more