She saw the ashened look of the city lights and thought how incongruent it was with the living things that existed. It made her think that the gods who created them were impetuous, but the impetuousity was like the rivers; fully in control. She couldn't tell though which of the two was trying to obstruct, the city lights or the living things that existed? She suddenly thought of that man she met during her vacation. He told her calmly but vehemently, 'life is not a competition.' The words of that man, which she often consciously and unconsciously competed against was completely evoked. The moment she heard those words, she suddenly thought that maybe, maybe most of the people, if not all, were driven by their idiosyncratic belief of divinity. Though it was negatively drawed, she still thought that those people are far off better than herself. At least they have something to believe in. No matter what it is, even that one Nepali who never ate beef because he thinks that cows are the gods who created us, was far more better than her. She didn't have something to believe in. The books and poems she read, the words of the people she met, they are all void of meaning. What is left for her were questions. But she never stops searching. There was no time trip back to the place where the flowers bloom, but she thinks she can still make it. Bullets may turn to stars one day.
-Manganese
