Burnt Out Lies

You said 'perhaps in another lifetime'

To which I replied

'But we still have one ahead of us! How can you be sure it is not this time?'

You kept silent

and I waited

and waited

and waited

and waited

And I should have known sooner

that the silence

was your answer

I should have known when I felt

the cold wind brush against my face

when you used to be

a breath of warm fresh air

I should have known when I heard

the faltering echo of your voice slowly fading away

in the vastness of the grey sky

when they used to be so profound

singing to me love songs

and lullabies

I should have known when I saw the distance between us

by the way your eyes looked

away from mine

when they used to be fixed on me

and only me

even when I was away

I should have known when

you finally opened your mouth

And all I could smell were your

burnt-out lies

that knocked me off my balance

as if I just heard them for the first time

I should have known

that 'perhaps in another lifetime'

was your lazy excuse

of telling me

'You are not worth fighting for'

And I wish I knew how

to get rid of this unpleasant aftertaste

of that kiss we shared that night

that still somehow manage

to linger inside my mouth

-Manganese

God's Canvas Sheet

You spend too much time worrying 

You lose sleep spending your nights in your bedroom with only the light of your computer against your eyes

You miss your daughter's first school activity because come on, there are more important matters to attend to than those children dancing to silly songs, right?

You rush into coffee shops to get your double shot espresso lattes in to-go cups just so you can rush into another place where you can drink more bottled coffee behind your desk

You fail to look up and witness god's live painting of his masterpiece called the golden sky because you are too busy looking down your phone checking your list hoping you can squeeze in one more errand before going home

You go home to spend another night to finish some work just so you can make room for more work the next day

Oh look! You've reached your goal!

Congratulations! 

Here's a cup of self-satisfaction

Which probably wouldn't last you a week

So you find yourself working towards another goal

You miss more sleep

And miss more of your daughter's school activities

You drink more coffee but if it was to be taken away from you today and were asked to describe its smell,

I bet you wouldn't be able to because you've never had one that's not covered with plastic

Perfectly valid and understandable reason

We get it

You're working towards your dream

Your dream house, dream car, dream job, dream vacation

You're trying to push your way through the crowd to get to the finish line

Oh look! You've made it to the finish line!

You could hear the satisfying sound of the finish tape tear in half as you wave your hand up in joy

But you start to wonder why there was no one to greet you with a big gold medal

You waited and waited until you realize the painful truth

It's a dead end

You turn around but everyone is running towards your direction that it's impossible to get past them

You try to save them and say

'Hey guys, you better slow down a little because there's really nothing in here.'

But they couldn't hear you with the sound of their fingers smashing against their keyboards

So you sit there wishing

Wishing you had moved a little slower

Slow enough to feel your chest move up and down as you breathe and slowly drift into a good night sleep

Slow enough to notice that your coffee actually smells like rain falling on dry soil of a garden filled with berries and citruses

You squint your eyes to remember your daughter's face and wish you had missed that meeting and saw her dance in her cute little dress, even just for once

You find yourself willing to give everything just to live one more day to look up and see god's masterpiece

or even just his canvas sheet

And you find yourself wanting more

If only you could have one more lifetime to live

If only

Just one more

Rainy Day Promo

So the challenge was to write a poem selling any body part or organ that can be sold. This poem was inspired by Adonis Durado's poem 'For Sale' wherein he advertently sells his broken heart to his readers. Read his poem if you still haven't. Anyway, here's mine!

Rainy Day Sale

Eyes for sale. Buy one on a rainy day and get one for free! Eyes have an almost 180-degree angle of forward-facing horizontal field of view so that you may not miss out on anything that had already been laid out in front of you. Can detect about 10 million colors but their favorite is the color of your hair against the sun in the summer. May have seen a considerable amount of shit pile but each has a built-in autofocus on beautiful things i.e. your smile. May not be in a 20-20-vision condition but good enough to see your best version. Eyes may have the tendency to easily get distracted but could also easily get enchanted. May need to recharge 6-8 hours a night depending on the urgency of your plight. The price is your innocence which means you may never see the world that simply again but very negotiable depending on what the doctors recommend. Free installation if we have that connection. Please contact maluznakai@gmail.com for negotiation.

The Golden Hour

6:00 a.m.

It was her 28th birthday

She loaded the dirty laundry into a washing machine

and looked at the toilet that she needed to clean

She fixed her hair, she took a shower

without even looking at her own reflection on the mirror

She grabbed a cup of instant coffee

and gulped ounces of it to steer away the terror

She tossed the cup in the bin

but missed because her hands tremored

Time passed like light speed

And she saw the sun set as if fading away in retreat

Her eyes glanced out the window

With an almost unnoticeable sorrow

She comes home with her daughter sleeping in her bedroom

And on the sofa was her tired husband

still in his party clown costume

At the corner was the telephone with five voicemails from her mom

but she never found time to listen to her qualms

She goes to work the next morning

with layers of concealer under her eyes

and an almost unnoticeable wistful smile

One day she woke up and she was 70

Still doing the same laundry

Still drinking the same instant coffee

She looked at her daughter walk down the aisle

with her father who almost never smiles

She brought flowers to her mom's grave

Talked a little, but she couldn't hear her from the other side with the distorted soundwave

She still walks out her doorstep with the same shoes

Almost getting tired of hearing the same news

She still sees the sunset from that window

And she still looks out from them with the same almost unnoticeable sorrow

She woke up and she was 28 again

She started to make an effort to notice her face on the mirror

She took time to look at her mom and cheer her

She hugged her husband more and this time tighter

She sank her lips into her daughter's soft cheeks

And never dared to miss a moment when her innocent lips speaks

She walked out the door before the sun could set

to finally buy a new pair of shoes, they were red 

She walked the earth as if it were her first time

and she locked her gaze into the golden sunshine

Time passed and she's now 92

And on her deathbed, she said

'If there's one thing that sunsets had taught me,

It is that transitions can be beautiful too.'