Early Morning/Late Night Thoughts ep. 1

What we are as a person is a reflection of all the people we have met, books we have read, songs we have listened to and everything we have felt with our hands and with our hearts. It's like we are filtersーwe take everything in, and we give everything back we think the world is worthy of. So, what we do is actually a reflection of the energy we are getting from others. When we are treated kindly, it is always easy to be nice to others as well but when we are treated badly and nothing seems to go right, we easily fall to the trap of simply being unpleasant. And it eventually destroys our souls because of our lack of capacity to understand and forgive. For me, that's one definition of weakness.

There are also those people who are aware that throwing back the negativity they had accumulated over time may disrupt the harmony of coexistence. That is probably why we came up with things we call as 'outlets' where we can release some negativity out into the open air. But not all people are capable of finding these outlets. Not all people are capable of seeking help from friends.

And that is where self-destruction comes into picture. I view this as a different kind of weakness. When negative things are accumulated over time, we unknowingly destroy ourselves. Negativity wells up inside us slowly eating up our souls.

There are also those whose ego are way up high that they fail to recognize the monsters they have become. What about them? Do we just let them be? Or do we constantly offer them the help that they refuse?

There are also a few who are so strong they carry the burden until they die. What could be their secret in holding in that poison without harming anybody that comes close to them? 

Some people say it's love. Some people say it's faith. Hell, some people even say as simple as a good cry. I honestly don't know.

I'm on the verge of self-destruction. And at the same time I want to run wild and wreak havoc.